Whilst choosing a boarding school often seems like a very serious business, life should be fun! We learn best when smiling, and school should be fun! So make the process of choosing and applying to a boarding school fun as well.
Now you know when you are applying, the next step is to have a deep think about why. What exactly do you and your young person want to get out of boarding school? What are your motivations? As with any project of such importance, you need to start with the end goals in mind.
We find it helps to divide these goals into:
i) Academic goals
he academic level you choose to target depends on how much you want to push, and how well your young person responds to pressure. SLE recommends you aim for the “Goldilocks Zone”, where the student is stretched beyond your expectations, without ever feeling inferior to their peers.
The best boarding school for your young person will help them develop their natural capabilities, and work on the areas that might not come so naturally.
Have a good discussion with your young person about their career goals. Do they already have a target career? If not, what are their strengths and interests? What makes them happy?
Work backwards from these career goals to figure out the best academic pathway to achieve them. How can you make these dreams a reality? It could be that you need a school with specialist facilities or subject provision. Or you could need somewhere with extra support. Everyone’s long term goals and requirements to achieve them are different.
Of course, many young people have little idea what they want to do as a career. Ideally, they’ll become job-makers rather than job-takers, but who knows what the world of work will look like?
So if they’re not sure yet, try to outline the general learning outcomes you are all aiming for. For a younger pupil this might be as vague as “discover and develop their capabilities”, whereas by the time they are in their mid teens, goals might have narrowed to something like “get into a top uni for Engineering.”
Be as specific as you can, but don’t stress if you’re not quite there yet. Things will be come clearer as you continue through this process.
Academic success is important and often the primary goal for parents. But remember that a glut of A* grades does not guarantee a bright future, and a good education is more about helping a young person learn how to navigate themselves through life.
Most school leaders and educators discourage parents from becoming too hung up on exam results. Why? Firstly, exam success is of course always relative, and success might be an A* for Peter and a B for Paul.
Secondly, those schools at the top of the league tables have incredibly high entrance requirements. So their academic “success” reflects their enrolment policy more than it reflects quality of education.
And of course, you don’t need to be a Clinical Psychologist to know that overwhelming academic pressure can contribute to a young person’s poor mental health. Heaping exam pressure on a child can have counterproductive results.
Instead, educators are keen to stress that academic success comes as a by-product of being an independent, motivated, and happy young person: If a student develops the right mindsets and behaviours, they will go on to fulfil their potential. You will hear pretty much every school talk about educating the “whole person.”
And remember that tomorrow’s leaders possess (and employers covet) character traits such as creativity, leadership and collaborative skills, communication, critical thinking, resilience and problem solving. Boarding schools provide a unique platform for students to practise and develop these critical life skills.
So you cannot focus solely on academic goals when choosing the best school. Personal development leads to academic success. It also leads to confident, compassionate, happier, and more authentic people who are capable of making their way in the world.
Let’s get on with your young person and mapping out their unique personal goals. They should ask what attributes or characteristics they want or need to develop. Is there is anything holding them back? What would make them feel happier or perform better? Would they like to be more confident and outgoing? Better at listening? Better at teamwork? Self aware? Resilient? Independent?
Also discuss your family’s key values. Whether you are aetheist or devout believers, your family will hold some intrinsic human values and principles. A boarding school acts in loco parentis, so you will want your future boarding school to share and nurture these same values.
And, with family in mind, give some thought to how you are going to maintain and grow your own relationships. Going to boarding school is often your first point of extended separation and you all need to be secure in your continued and unconditional love and support for one another. How are you going to stay connected? When are you going to meet up, and what are you going to do in order to spend quality time together? Do not neglect your emotional needs or anxieties, as they are a natural part of this process.
Let us stress that your academic goals will be nigh-on impossible to achieve if you do not get your personal goals in order. And whilst these might be less obvious and tangible, the process of thinking and talking about them will make it a lot easier to identify the best schools for your family.
It’s essential that your young person is open to the idea of boarding. Ideally, they should be incredibly excited about the prospect! What can be better than living with all your friends amongst loads of amazing facilities and fun activities?
But whilst parents tend to fret over exam result data, university destinations, fees, safety and logistics, students themselves are usually more concerned about the social side of things. How well will I fit in? Will I make friends OK? How homesick am I going to get? Can I still play X-Box? Will it all be incredibly stressful? Should I take the risk or just stay home?
Fear of the unknown can debilitate anyone, so it’s really important you explore the opportunities boarding school will bring.
What do they like to do to blow off steam? What activities are they keen to develop further or even try for the first time? Schools will have a gazillion different clubs and activities available, with differing focuses and levels of provision. So, if your daughter is mad about golf, she’ll likely be happier in a school that has it’s own course on-site, or laser swing analysis facilities . If your son is into performing arts, you’ll want a school with a fantastic theatre.
The answers to these questions will give you things to add to your list of preferences and priorities when we get to Step 3.
This approach will not only motivate and inspire your young person, but will help find a school where they’ll “fit in”. This will help them settle in and soon feel “at home” in their new environment. You’ll want your young person to have a fantastic time, get over any setbacks, and always look forward to going back to school.
Above all remember that, whilst choosing a boarding school often seems like a very serious business, life should be fun! We learn best when smiling, and school should be fun! So make the process of choosing and applying to a boarding school fun as well.
You are much more likely to find the best-fitting school if the whole family has a clear and agreed mission in mind. Your motivations are one of the first things schools will ask about, so make sure you’ve taken time to outline the following:
Academic goals
Personal Development goals
How to keep it fun
Be mindful that your own educational experience will influence your thoughts, and try not to let this prejudice your approach. Remember you are finding the best school for your young person, not the school you wish you went to. Keep the focus on them, and adopt a fun and positive mindset.